Slaughter Hotel aka Asylum Erotica aka The Coldblooded Beast 1971 **1/2

Dir: Fernando di Leo
Stars: Klaus Kinski, Margaret Lee, Rosalba Neri

For some reason, though I'm delicate about any nudity in films before 1968 or thereabouts, it's kind of mandatory in Eurohorror of the seventies, and kind of adds to the ambience if the proceedings don't get completely pornographic. Though some make the case for European porn and cinema having almost blended into one art form along about the mid-seventies, I prefer to keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool in the metaphoric McDLT of sleazy movie watching, but that's just me.

This movie is really a very recommendable bit of Eurotrash as it swarms in, provides lurid and weird thrills, then doesn't overstay its welcome. It's about a loony bin that seems to exclusively provide for the needs of sexy women, among whom is Margaret Lee coming on to Kinski, whose doctor character doesn't insult our intelligences, or bore us, by rebuffing her too long. Fans of more mainstream cinema will recognize Kinski as the wild-eyed long-haired loudmouth on the train in the Dr. Zhivago, or perhaps as the hunchback hired gun in For a Few Dollars More, but he is actually a very versatile actor who appeared in a wide variety of interesting European movies from the lowest of the low to the artiest of the arty.

Someone starts to knock off the curvy nutjobs in the place after they've done some suitable seductive writhing in surreal dream sequences, and there then follows a hamhanded investigation by police who make sure to chase the killer, once identified, at a slow enough pace so he has time to chop up about five nurses before the thrilling conclusion. One of the most notable scenes is a strange dance of lesbian seduction. The nonstop muzak score is kind of incongruously fun as well.

The Zodiac Killer 1971 ** ½

Dir: Tom Hanson

Stars: Hal Reed, Bob Jones, Ray Lynch, Tom Pittman

This is a textbook hit-and-miss B. There are some great killings by the killer. He stops to help an old lady whose car has stalled, but then kills her by slamming her head in the hood and jumping up and down on top of it. Also amusing is when he sends a sleeping old man in a rolling chair down an inclined street to his demise. Something that makes the movie especially odd is the very uneven performances…some deliveries are not even at read-through level, seriously. Which is part of the fun of exploiters. The point of the film is that anyone you see could be a killer, and this concept is related by the voiceover of the killer, which is quite well done and creepy. The striking-looking killer is shown going around doing a lot of ordinary things, even being helpful to people, although occasionally people are creeped out by his effusiveness. These scenes tend to pile up to the point of seeming just like filler, but that’s also part of the fun of exploitation movies: randomness and irrelevancy. Another killing scene I enjoyed was of him stabbing a girl in an American flag bikini. Ah, symbolism. Exploitation movies are interesting to me because of how they depict some of the most horrible things that can possibly happen, and the truly dark nature of man…and at the same time, they’re usually so silly. It’s just a very compelling dichotomy I can’t seem to resist, so why try? That extra half star I’m giving because of the creative beginning and end titles.

Manos: The Hands of Fate 1966 **1/2

Dir: Harold P. Warren

Stars: Tom Neyman, John Reynolds, Harold P. Warren, Diane Mahree

One of the most polarizing films in b-dom, some b-aficionados consider it too genuinely bad to be a b-classic, others regard it very highly, including one Quentin Tarantino who according to IMDB actually owns an original print of it. It's almost a dead cert that it influenced David Lynch in some way with its long shots, surreal qualities and creepy characters. My own feeling is that it is a b-classic but that unlike say Plan 9, Spider-baby, or Faster Pussycat, is not one that can be watched over and over, at least within a short span. Partly this is due to what makes it so distinct, the very loooong slowly paced scenes, which are kind of mesmerizing in their bizarreness, and may be some unintentional realism you don't see in most movies, in the sense that life often happens at a slow pace. I seem to remember that Hitchcock once said something about how melodrama is life with the boring parts taken out...by which definition Manos may not be melodrama, but it is a distinct work, and how many things can you say that about?

Some performances deserve credit. Tom Neyman plays the "Master", and is quite genuinely intimidating with his glaring eyes and his scowl. He is a cult leader who has a whole bevy of wives who go into some kind of trance or standing coma during the day time. One of the things that is most made fun of in the film is how strange the speech of the wives is, as when one is discussing the fate of some intruders into their secret hideaway and first wants to spare the woman, then in the next sentence declares that they all must die. But I rather think that, while it may be due more to ineptness than design in the writing, it actually reflects the off-kilter mental state of thralls of a cult, so is actually more convincing than if everything they said was consistent.

Probably by now the films most famous element is the unforgettable character Torgo, portrayed by John Reynolds in a reported drug induced stupor. His uneven way of phrasing such lines as "The master would not approve" have become iconic. Reynolds sadly died shortly after the shoot, so it is nice he has achieved some immortality as a subject of - if I can juxtapose these words - fond derision.